• Genevieve

4. Frisky TSA Agent in Guam 2013

Updated: Jul 28, 2018

There is nothing better than knowing you can escape the winter blues and head to a tropical paradise to swim in the warm Pacific waters on the island of Guam.

Seattle weather was at its usual. Rainy, cold and grey. Our flights had already taken us across to Beijing for a short 27 hour layover then back and forth to Tokyo where the weather was the same rainy miserable mess. My bag always includes a swimsuit. So here we go. Warm sunny Guam welcomed us for a 29 hour layover.

We enjoyed our stay at the Hyatt Regency Guam on Tumon Bay with snorkeling and a good meal across the road at the Green Lizzard.

It was time to leave and head back home to rainy Seattle. Our usual pick up arrived, took us up Marine Corps Dr. and up to the front of the Departures doors at the International Airport. I retrieved my standby boarding pass at the Delta kiosk, walked over to the TSA precheck where I was surprised that there were an unusual amount of people in line. Normally there are only a select few that had gone through the trouble of acquiring this expedited pass. So, patiently I waited as the TSA agent slowly and meticulously screened each passenger in line. Guam's main percentage of tourists are Japanese, so to find a few in line was a surprise. This group of four either did not understand the seriousness of a TSA agent or they did not speak English, but they alerted the security when all four approached the TSA agent while she was questioning a passenger. Everything came to a halt. The TSA agent was a size 3XL muscular black lady whom no one wanted to mess with. She was immediately assisted by two muscular male security guards who physically moved the four Japanese tourists back behind the "Wait Here" sign. The TSA agent was now very aggravated. After slowly screening the four Japanese tourists, it was my turn. My time was running short as I only had about half hour left before the flight was to take off.

"Passport." said the TSA agent in a very demanding voice.

I stood at attention and followed her orders as I did not want to rock an already half flooded boat.

The TSA agent scaned my standby boarding pass, took a hard look at my passport picture, staired into my eyes, looked down again at my passport and said "Where you headed to honey?"

Honey? Did I hear correctly? There was a southern accent and she was using that southern friendly term only a Southerner could produce.

"Back to Seattle." I responded.

"You must be from Georgia. I can hear it in your accent."

True, I had left Georgia after living there for over 25 years, so the accent was still thick with twangs and drawls.

TSA agent became very friendly and appeared excited to have an American to talk to. Thumbing through my extra large very full passport, she asked why I traveled so much.

I responded with my usual reply, "My husband is a pilot."

"So Georgia, you travel with him often?" asked the TSA agent

"Yes," I replied, "every chance I can."

"Well you lucky girl. Does he have any friends you can introduce me to?" she asks.

Oh dear. I was so eager to throw a very funny line back at her, but what were my chances that she would hold me up and I would miss my flight? Not willing to stay another night in Guam I just played it safe with the following; "All of our friends are married."

After some additional idle chit chat which was making me very uncomfortable, Monica the TSA agent stamped my passport and off I went to the luggage control area. There were only two people ahead of me in this pre-check lane. What happened next took me totally off guard and surprised even me, a well seasoned traveler. My bags well on their way through the xray machine and me half way through the metal detector, I stepped through only to be greeted by my large and friendly TSA agent. How did she manage to get from her station to the other side of the screening area to meet me here?

"Hello there Georgia," she said, "I'm going to have to frisk you."

What? I never get pulled aside. My girl on girl radar went up and as much as I would have loved to have had a little battle of words with my new found "friend", I decided that I would just stand there and allow her to get a cheap thrill of frisking my frame. Obviously she was enjoying this moment.

"Georgia, you are clean and good to go."

Of course I was clean. I can only imagine her pleasure should I have had something on my person.

During my many returns back through Guam, never did I see this friendly TSA agent again nor have I had this experience repeated. Just another story to tell of my exciting moments at check in.

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